


Let Me Be a Part of the Narrative

by Fiorite4



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Background Relationships, Canonical Character Death, Cross-Posted on Wattpad, Crushes, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Historical Inaccuracy, Hugs, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Love Letters, Not Beta Read, Romance, Secret Relationship, Sister-Sister Relationship, at this point I make up historical stuff, john just loves peggy a lot, like I did no research for this, more like hamliza is just not the focus, peggy isnt exactly a fan of herself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-07-29 21:28:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20089048
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fiorite4/pseuds/Fiorite4
Summary: ""Excuse me, miss?" Looking up, Peggy saw something she definitely did not expect. A boy, standing right in front of her. Wild curly hair pulled into a ponytail, freckles all over his face,  smart eyes, he was absolutely gorgeous."Y-yes, sir?" Silently, Peggy scolded herself. After years of the three sisters all training each other to be confident in the presence of a man, all the 'training' had failed her.The man simply smiled at Peggy in response, which caused her to pretty much melt. "I couldn't help but notice a beautiful woman such as yourself alone on the fine night," He seemed to think through his next words, intriguing her. "And I was simply wondering if you needed even a little company.""Or: While Eliza and Angelica fall in love with Alexander Hamilton, Peggy Schuyler finds herself with a crush on John Laurens, and they have a story of their own to tell.





	1. Boy, You've Got Me Helpless

**Author's Note:**

> I recently became obsessed with Hamilton (Late, I know), then I found out about Jasmine Cephas Jones and Anthony Ramos, then I got obsessed with Jeggy, and this fanfiction was born. I'm planning on 7 chapters and then a sequel book. 
> 
> IMPORTANT: I did change the appearances a little, I went by the actor and actresses and how they look, but I did change the skin color, just because some skin color wouldn't be liked in that time. There's nothing wrong with having darker skin, just in that time there was discrimination. 
> 
> Anyway, enjoy the story!

Peggy Schuyler loved her sisters more than the world. Never were they people to mindlessly follow a boy, or stay lovesick. Sure there were times when the two ignored her, but that all came with being the youngest. Maybe the world saw Eliza and Angelica as better, but that came with being a woman. Always being compared and thought of as less. That didn’t bother her as much as it should, though. Even when the boys all asked for Angelica and Eliza to dance, gave them praises, but never gave Peggy so much as a glance. Even when her sisters would abandon her for these boys, if just to see what would happen. Sure every ball turned out this way, but who cared? Not her. 

A Winters Ball of 1780 would start out exactly the same as every other ball. The Schuyler Sisters would walk in, rendering the room speechless, and of course, boys almost immediately flocked to Peggy’s sisters. She really could see why. Besides the money and status you could gain from marrying a Schuyler sister, Angelica and Eliza were so very desirable. 

Angelica was absolutely gorgeous, with long, curly ebony hair and tanned skin. Wherever she went, she commanded respect and attention. Almost as if it was a crime to ignore such a girl. Her personality with her witty ways, and the wisdom she held? Men would gush for years. Even if she could be overbearing, maybe hold a grudge like crazy, she was still someone to be desired. 

Eliza was graceful as a dove, and beautiful as one. Straight, black hair that perfectly moved with her body, fair skin that would dazzle boys all around. When she moved, it was as if the world turned silent. She was a princess born into a comparatively poor family. Her looks would never do her personality justice, for she was the kindest person Peggy knew, and the kindest person anyone could ever find. Still, she would never let you believe she was naive. The perfect person to marry, Peggy thought. 

Peggy was...just herself. She didn’t have beautiful black hair, but dark brown hair that was so tangly it only looked good in a ponytail. There was no fair skin or beautifully tanned skin here, just skin that was just sort of...tan but not. Although appearance didn’t mean everything, Peggy knew boys looked for that first. If they even got past that, her personality wasn’t anything special. Sure she was smart and good give a good comeback, but not like the witty and quick-thinking Angelica, and she could never be kind like Eliza was. To say the least, she was boring compared to her lovely sisters. 

So this start was no surprise, and the way the sisters all held themselves was no different than normal. All three would claim a spot by the wall and simply talk until some boy that actually may be worth their time showed up, or Angelica decided that they needed something to eat. That night, it was the latter, which meant Angelica would actually be walking around, getting them all food. 

Angelica was walking over to the food when she ran into a boy. He didn’t look like anything special to Peggy, but clearly, her sister thought differently. Almost immediately a blush had appeared on Angelica’s face, and instead of getting food, she began to dance and chat with this stranger. Great. 

Peggy turned to Eliza, eager to comment on the matter of food, but stopped when she saw Eliza’s face. Smitten was one way to put it, starstruck another, but really the best word was helpless. Utterly and hopelessly helpless for...that same boy Angelica was dancing with. 

What were the odds?

There were several things Peggy could do now. March over to Angelica and knock some sense into her, explain to Eliza that she couldn't have this man, maybe flirt with the guy so they could make some sort of 'girl pact’ to leave him alone. However, no choice could be made before the eldest sister was walking over, no food in hand, but a certain lovesick strut to her step. 

Surprisingly, Angelica jumped right next to Peggy and began whispering furiously in her ear. “Peggy, you won't believe the man I just met. His name is Alexander Hamilton and-” Internally panicking, Peggy tuned her sister out, hearing small bits of Angelica's words. 

“If this is what it feels like to match with someone, how could someone not go looking for love?!”

“It’s like the key and the kite-”

“Did you see when I asked about his family? He started getting nervous and-”

This rambling was so endearing, but Peggy couldn’t really fall into this mindset without worrying about Eliza. Both of Peggy’s sisters were utterly in love with this Alexander Hamilton, and all Peggy could think was that this would forever change them, no matter what happened. She was only pulled out of her thoughts when Angelica was silenced.

Peggy looked over at her sister, just to see her staring at Eliza, looking from her to Alexander. Oh no. “Oh, Eliza…” Angelica whispered. Her words sounded so broken and sad that Peggy felt like crying for Angelica.

“Angelica, Peggy!” Eliza’s voice was so full of glee as she talked, and it made Peggy both want to laugh and to scream. “You see that boy over there,” she pointed to Alexander in a very not subtle way. Angelica and Peggy simply nodded. “That one’s mine!” She whispered those words so full of happiness and longing, it made Peggy want to sigh. 

“Alright then!” Angelica said, and Peggy’s gaze flipped to her. What? With that, the oldest Schuyler sister walked off towards Alexander, false confidence radiating as she began to talk with the man of the hour. 

“What is she doing?” Eliza’s voice was quiet, but terrified as the two sisters watched Angelica. For a moment, she and Alexander were content with just talking. That is, until the boy was being led to them by their sister. “Peggy, they’re coming over!” Eliza squeaked out. 

“Yes, they are.”

“What if he hates me? Oh, what if he falls in love with someone else? What if he makes fun of-oh they’re right there!” Eliza was squealing, but Peggy was glad that it would be put to rest, at least for a good while, by Alexander’s presence. 

“Elizabeth Schuyler,” Eliza said as soon as the pair got near. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Alexander raised his eyebrow, looking at Angelica. “Schuyler?” Sheonly offered him a smile. 

“My sister.” 

Eliza butt in before Alexander could respond, “Thank you for all of your service.” Peggy could practically feel the heat radiating off of her sister with how much blushing she was doing. 

Alexander bowed, kissing Eliza’s hand delicately. “If it takes fighting a war for us to meet, it will have been worth it.” All three sisters smiled, if for different reasons. 

“I’ll leave you to it!” Angelica left, which meant Peggy was the only thing keeping Eliza from going straight into love-mode. She watched as Angelica slipped to the other side of the room, into a lone corner. Probably just wanting to be alone. Then some random boy went up to her and asked her to dance. That explosion of emotions would be fun to deal with. 

“This is my little sister, Margarita.” Eliza all of a sudden said, cutting through Peggy’s thoughts. 

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Margarita Schuyler.” Alex bowed to Peggy, giving her a chance to sneak a glance at Eliza, whose face was practically a tomato. 

“The pleasure is all mine, Alexander,” She paused, but continued, “and please call me Peggy.” 

“Of course, miss.” Hamilton turned to Eliza, “Would you care for a dance?” 

Eliza nodded so fast, it blurred. “Absolutely!” The two moved to the dance floor, waltzing gracefully. As if they were made for one another. 

As happy as she was for Eliza, and as bad as she felt for Angelica, Peggy couldn’t help but feel betrayed by the fact that both of her sisters had left her alone. Hadn’t they agreed to always be by each other's side? Sure they would one day fall in love, but still…

Peggy felt alone. 

After what felt like an hour, Peggy was brought out of the self-deprecating thoughts in her mind. Someone was trying to speak to her. 

“Excuse me, miss?” Looking up, Peggy saw something she definitely did not expect. A boy, standing right in front of her. Wild curly hair pulled into a ponytail, freckles all over his face, smart eyes, he was absolutely gorgeous. Suddenly, she knew what Eliza felt when she had seen Alexander. 

“Y-yes, sir?” Silently, Peggy scolded herself. After years of the three sisters all training each other to be confident in the presence of a man, all the ‘training’ had failed her. Still, in the moment all she really wanted was for this man to prove himself to her. Prove he didn’t want her for money and status. 

The man simply smiled at Peggy in response, which caused her to pretty much melt. “I couldn’t help but notice a beautiful woman such as yourself alone on the fine night,” He seemed to think through his next words, intriguing her. “And I was simply wondering if you needed even a little company.” 

Well, she wasn’t expecting that at all. As much as the thought of this man just wanting Peggy for her money was plaguing her, she really did want the company. “The company, while appreciated, is a mystery to me,” It was a wonder that this man was staying with how much blushing was probably happening, considering how hot her cheeks felt. “So, who do I have the pleasure of being in my company?”

“John Laurens, and you are...?” Peggy’s heart soared. This man-John Laurens-didn’t know who she was! That had to be proof he wasn’t in it for the name! 

“Margarita Schuyler,” Peggy paused, before adding: “Call me Peggy. Margarita is too long and formal for me.” If John’s surprised look was anything to go by, he truly had no idea who he was talking to! Without missing a beat, he bowed down and kissed the back of her hand. 

“I was not aware that I was in the company of a Schuyler Sister. It is my honor to be in your presence.” Peggy really didn’t want John to see the name after his unprompted kindness before. Her mind yelled so many things at her, saying he would only want her for money, or even saying he would be too intimidated. Knowing the first would most likely be true, Peggy looked at the floor.  
“Well, if you’re looking for a Schuyler sister to woo for the ‘money’ and ‘status’, you won’t find her here.” Although it crushed her to say that, when a man was actually talking to her, Peggy knew that she couldn’t blindly fall in love with someone looking for the perks of her name. 

John took her hands, and she looked up in shock. “I simply saw a woman alone and wished to cheer her up. It had nothing to do with your name, and I stand by that.” 

Peggy felt like crying. Was this how normal girls felt when someone took notice of them for them? “I-I…” Words couldn’t seem to form in her throat. “Thank you, but I don’t need to be cheered up.” She couldn’t let the Schuyler name be tainted by an emotional outburst. 

“Well, then I'll just sit here. My friends are off wooing girls or whatever, so if someone else happens to be alone, then I think it’s the perfect chance to not be bored for this entire ball.” Peggy couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She had literally done some form of shutting John down, and yet he still wanted to stay. In a way, it angered her. Couldn’t she just be left alone? Besides, there was no way she could take away Eliza’s thunder of probably declaring her love of Alexander to her sisters, or leave Angelica as the only one of the three sisters without someone to love. 

“Fine.” Peggy finally spout out. “Just don’t expect me to be alone for long. I suspect my sisters, or at least Angelica, will be here soon and I won’t be alone any more, anyway.” Was it just her, or was this sounding rude? Whatever. It didn’t matter, she couldn’t let this boy woo her, couldn’t let herself fall in love. She just had to ignore him, and it’d be fine. 

So, the two just stood by one another. If anyone were to spare a glance at them, they would most likely think that they were the most awkward people in the room. Peggy was sure that they had been standing there for an hour (Though, it was actually just a few minutes), when John spoke. “Huh.”

“What?” She asked, as Peggy wanted to know if he was thinking about her or her sisters. 

“Nothing, it’s just... “ John seemed to search his head for the right words to say. “I’ve heard the Schuyler sisters were pretty, but I never realized that the youngest was so beautiful.” 

Peggy could feel the blush that was (probably) on her cheeks. It wasn’t even the first time someone had complimented her looks, but somehow John Laurens had to go and make it seem so much more genuine. “T-That’s very kind of you, sir.” She simply replied, and John’s sweet smile was so beautiful and why couldn’t she think straight when he was in the picture? “But, I'm sure you’ll realize when you see my sisters, I'm nothing special.” 

John didn’t agree, or say that he’d wait to see or anything that Peggy expected, but instead rubbed the back of her hand (When did they start holding hands?). “What makes you say that?” The concern written all over his face was startling, but still was an opening for Peggy to confess something. A part of her asked when she started to have something to confess, but she shut it up in favor of talking to John. 

“Well, Angelica is so smart and witty and beautiful and Eliza’s so kind and trusting, and pretty, i’m just me! Plus-” This sort of rambling would continue, and as time went on, it would switch from talking up her sisters, to more self-deprecating talk. Peggy wouldn’t notice, but John’s expressions would turn to so sad and concerned he was like a kicked puppy, and he would pull her into a corner and nearer to him so no one could see the two of them. One thing Peggy would notice was how he faithfully listened to her spill all her insecurities and secrets. (Why was she spilling everything to someone who was practically a stranger to her?) The other, she would only notice as she got lightheaded, that being the fact she was barely breathing with how much she was talking.

John rubbed Peggy’s palms and shushed her as she began to gasp for air. “I understand, just breathe.” He whispered to her, and his gaze practically melted her. She had never had someone care for her like this, excluding her sisters from the picture. Slowly John pulled Peggy towards him, grip soft and only just tight enough to pull her. She clearly could pull away if she desired. 

Peggy let herself be pulled into John’s arms. His arms were comforting and warm, and she unconsciously snuggled into his chest. “I’m sorry,” She whispered. A part of her said this all was improper, but she chose to ignore it. “You shouldn't have to deal with this.” Especially since we literally met thirty minutes ago.

“No, it's fine.” John carded his hand through Peggy's hair. “I'm sorry I have to be the person you confessed that to, though.”She looked up into his eyes, and smiled. 

Peggy had been harboring all of those emotions since she was a little girl. It was refreshing to have someone to talk to that wasn't her sisters. John continued talking, encouraged by her smile. “I, for one, think you are beautiful, witty, and kind. I don't know if my opinion matters to you, but-”

“It does matter.” Above all others, She wanted to say, but she didn't think that would come off well. “Your words are unbelievably kind, sir.”

“Please, don't call me sir,call me Laurens.” Laurens actually paused right after he said the name, as if deciding whether it truly was a good nickname. “Actually, call me John.” Peggy only nodded, thinking it was perfect.

Suddenly John pulled Peggy away from him. The loss of contact was sudden, and whimpering was heard. It took a moment to realize it was from her. He almost looked apologetic as he heard her. “Sorry, but I have a feeling someone’s going to notice we’re gone. My friends will start looking for me, and your sisters probably will go looking for you.” Peggy begrudgingly agreed. As much as she wanted to stay hugging John (Since when was she wanting to just hug someone?), he was right about her sisters. 

“Yeah, you’re right about that.” Although Peggy was trying to distance herself in her mind, she just wanted to spend time with John. He took her hand and kissed it, just like he had earlier. “John, w-what?” 

“May I have the pleasure of dancing with you, Miss Schuyler?” Although her face was getting increasingly warm, Peggy laughed. 

Like she could ever say no. “Of course!” 

The two, hopefully seamlessly, moved to the dancing arena of the room. Although Peggy kept on stepping on John’s toes, they loved dancing together. Like they were extensions of one another, even with their clumsiness. 

They danced together for what felt like forever, Peggy taking no notice of anything around her. Not the subtle glee of Eliza as she danced with her Alexander, not Angelica sneaking out for fresh air, not the two boys watching her and John. It was only the two of them as far as Peggy was concerned. 

All of a sudden John pulled Peggy away from the dancing, running them back to the wall. She followed despite being confused. Why did he want to stop? “John, what are you-” 

“I just wanted to talk, and dancing near all those people felt like too much.” He looked nervous.

“Too much what?”

“Just too much.” 

Peggy rolled her eyes, but smirked playfully anyway. “Makes perfect sense.” That earned a soft laugh from John, which was a gift to the lovestruck girl. It would surely play in her head long after the interaction. Then she remembers what John had just said. “What did you want to talk about?” She feels some sort of shame for pointing out ‘too much’ when he clearly had something he wanted to say. 

“I was wondering…” John looked uncomfortable with whatever he was about to say. Peggy wanted to tell him it was fine, but kept quiet. “I know this sounds completely crazy, but…” He took a breath, calming himself. “Would you consider keeping us a sort of secret, at least until after the war?” 

Peggy’s world seemed to shift at his words. First of all, he wanted to keep their relationship a secret from their combined forces of friends and family! Second, both of them were thinking them as in a relationship, as an ‘us’! She knew that truly meant something. They hadn’t even talked about that! 

Yet, Peggy had questions she needed answered. “Why would you want to keep this a secret?” A part of her wanted to ask if John was embarrassed he was with Margarita Schuyler out of the three sisters. 

It was almost as if John could hear Peggy’s thoughts, because he immediately apologised to her. “I’m sorry, and I understand if you don’t want to, but I just want to keep you safe.” She wanted to be upset, but she knew what he was saying. If she wanted to date John, or one day marry him, then she had to know what would happen to her if he died in war. To put it simply, the public, specifically the men, would prey on her with incredible lust. 

“No, I understand.” Peggy looked at the floor, face red. “Just…” She didn’t want to stop contact with John. Not in a million years. “Please write. I’m sure you know where to find me.” A soft smile spread across his lips. 

“I’ll write. I promise.” All of a sudden someone started walking over to them. 

“Peggy! I’ve been looking for you for the past-” Angelica. Of course she would interrupt right now. “Wait. Who are you?” She eyed John suspiciously, as if he would grab Peggy at any moment and kidnap her. 

“Oh, this is John Laurens.” Peggy had to make sure he made a good impression. Otherwise, her sisters would never approve of them. “John, this is my sister, Angelica Schuyler.” A part of her was worried John would want Angelica, but from the simple smile he gave her, Peggy could tell his love was reserved for her and her alone. 

“It’s an honor to meet you, Miss Schuyler.” John bowed and planted a kiss on Angelica’s hand. She clearly found it unimpressive. 

“Likewise. Now, Peggy. We need to go, or else Father will get upset.” Angelica grabbed Peggy’s hand. “I don’t think Eliza can take any more of this anyway.” 

Peggy was pulled away from John, and all she could say was a pitiful “Bye!” before he was out of sight. As Angelica would tell her that he was just looking for the Schuyler name and status, as Eliza would squeal about Alexander Hamilton, and the sisters would prepare for bed, all Peggy could think about was John and the first letter he would send.


	2. My Life Gets Better Every Letter That You Write Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy reflects on all that has changed since that fateful winters ball just a few days earlier. She and Angelica grow closer in the meantime.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, school is starting for me in just a few days. This will slow down updates. I have no idea how slow, but it slow it down nevertheless. To all those going to school soon like me, good luck!

“Angelica! Peggy! Look, Alexander wrote to me!” Eliza was squealing as she ripped open the door to Peggy’s room. Peggy smiled before face planting into her pillow. 

“Good for you.” Eliza sat on Peggy’s bed and pulled her to a sitting position. “Rude. I was busy doing stuff.” 

“Really? Doing what now?” Eliza didn’t believe any of what Peggy was saying, which was annoying. “Besides, I won’t take much of your time.” Just as she was going to retort with her own wonderfully crafted comment, Angelica burst in. 

Angelica’s hair was slightly messy, and her dress was slightly wrinkled. “Did you just say Alexander wrote to you?” Eliza nodded quickly, high on excitement. “What did he say?” Angelica sounded tired to Peggy. It was more than just sleep deprived too, more like sadness. Peggy vowed that she’d help her find love one day.

“My Dearest, Eliza,” Eliza grinned at her sisters. Both sucked in a breath. That was big. A comma between dearest and Eliza! “Can you believe it!? Dearest comma Eliza!” Peggy smiled as Eliza flopped back onto the bed. She was sure everyone in the house could hear those squeals. 

“Well, what else did he say?” Angelica asked, curiosity showing. Her question only made Eliza giggle more. 

Eliza playfully hit Angelica’s arm. “I don’t want to tell you everything, Angelica!” Peggy rolled her eyes. It was strange to see her sister a squealing mess. “He did say that I was the most beautiful woman he met, and that…” She tuned Eliza out of her mind. 

It wasn’t as if Peggy wasn’t happy for Eliza, she was happy. Truly, she was. It was just that the ball just a few days earlier had flipped a switch in their lives. Yes, Eliza was still kind and a great sister, but she would talk about Alexander so much. It was like he was the only thing she could think about, and the only conversation topic she knew of. Angelica was always so sad, though Eliza never seemed to notice. Maybe Peggy had the advantage by hearing Angelica gush about Alexander, but still. She missed the late nights where they would all talk by a candlelight. She missed fantasising of the perfect boy for each sister. She missed hiding from their father in the gardens, wanting more time with one another. Most of all, she just missed the past. Peggy knew that they were growing up, but she never imagined one night could change so much. 

“Can you believe it, Peggy?” Eliza grinned at Peggy, mind set on Alexander Hamilton. (Was it too much for her to ask that Alexander leaves them all alone?) She quickly smiled back, hopefully being convincing. 

“I can’t believe it.” Peggy cursed herself for not paying attention to the conversation. She took a leap of faith. “Alexander’s quite the charmer, isn’t he?” Eliza’s smile somehow got wider as she nodded quickly. Peggy internally sighed in relief. 

Angelica chimed in, and placed a hand on Eliza’s shoulder. “Before you begin ranting again, shouldn’t you be writing back?” Her voice was calm and collected. (How was she so good at hiding her emotions?) “At his rate of writing, you have to get on the reply as fast as possible, don’t you?” Peggy nodded, hoping this would mean she could get some alone time. 

Eliza screeched, yet still somehow making it sound good. “You’re so right, Angelica! Thank you so much.” She quickly jumped up from Peggy’s bed and rushed out the door off to write. The remaining sisters looked at each other, both noticing how quickly Eliza left. 

Peggy expected Angelica to leave the room, but she just sat, looking around. “So…” Why did Peggy have to feel so awkward all of a sudden? “Did you need something?” Her palms were sweaty, and she was on edge. Why did it feel like something bad was about to happen? 

“Yes,” Angelica looked nervous, fidgeting with her skirt. “I was wondering if you-”

“If I heard you talking about Alexander?” Peggy smiled at her sister, trying to be kind. Angelica was in a hard position, and there was no way Peggy could let herself make her oldest sister’s life harder. “I heard all of it, Angie.” Her voice was soft, and she hoped it was comforting. 

Sadly, Angelica only seemed to get more nervous at her words. “Peggy, I…” She stopped and took a breath. “Please don’t tell Eliza. She can’t know how I feel. You and I both know how guilty she would feel!” The older sister started to cry, tears glistening in the light. Her voice shook as she continued. “I can’t let her sacrifice her happiness for my sake.”

Peggy laid her hands on Angelica’s. She knew how much her sister cared for others. Especially when it came to family. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell anyone.” Peggy made sure to talk softly, hoping to provide some comfort to her sister. She couldn’t deny that this was a strange position to be in, as Angelica was usually the one to comfort the others, but there was no way Peggy wouldn’t reciprocate that kindness. 

“I-I don’t know how to thank you, Peggy.” Angelica smiled at Peggy, tears still slowly flowing down her cheeks. Peggy jumped forward and hugged her older sister. 

“You can always talk to me, Angie.” 

Angelica was released from Peggy’s grip. “I know.” With those words, the older sister left, presumably to read some book. 

Most would probably sit in silence, contemplating the conversation, but Peggy had other things on her mind. She could be satisfied, for just a moment, with what she had given Angelica, for other things were on her mind. 

Peggy closed her door, knowing that she’d be able to react better with the turn of the knob. This was the moment she had been waiting for since that ball. She reached under her pillows to reveal a letter labeled Margarita Schuyler. John Laurens had finally written her, and Peggy couldn’t feel more delighted. 

Sure, Alexander Hamilton had a way with words that seemed to build worlds, but Peggy could never imagine someone who could write something as wondrous as what John could. She may have been biased, but she would stand by her feelings.

Although the letter had just arrived that day, and not too long earlier, Peggy had read through it more times than she could count. Unfolding the paper yet again felt just as magical as the first time. This letter was the beginning of their relationship, which she knew would be one worthy of more than just the history books. 

One thing Peggy was undeniably sure of was that these letters were personal to her and John. They could choose to show someone, but she knew that she wanted John’s words to herself for the foreseeable future. So, she committed them to memory and began writing her response immediately. 

The greatest problem with writing letters secretly to one another was that Peggy was, admitably, not the best with being secretive. This was why she had one of the slaves send her letter for her. There was no way she could go against John’s wishes, so she just hoped that he would be alright with just one other girl knowing. 

Peggy smiled as she gave the letter to the girl, knowing that it would soon be the hands of her beloved John. With a lovesick grin, the youngest Schuyler sister plopped back onto her bed. She knew that her sisters would soon come looking for her, wanting to talk about Alexander, or some other thing that she couldn’t think of, but for the moment she was full of bliss.

\- - - - - -

2 WEEKS LATER

Eliza was fidgeting right next to Peggy, her hand kept moving from her skirt to Peggy’s own skirt, which was unsurprising. At the moment, Alexander Hamilton and their father, Philip Schuyler, were talking, Alexander asking for his blessing. Peggy couldn’t exactly blame Eliza for being so nervous, but it was sort of annoying to have her shaking like a leaf next to Peggy. Angelica was looking at the ceiling, unblinking. She was crying, Peggy had realized earlier. Although Eliza was undeniably caring, her own nervousness was clearly blinding her from Angelica. Again, Peggy couldn’t blame her sister. In those circumstances, she would be feeling the exact same, she knew. 

Despite how Peggy had first felt about him, she liked Alexander for who he was. The boy didn’t seem to want to bring forth crushes from both Eliza and Angelica, he was just looking for love. Of course, Peggy was sure that the perks of the Schuyler name was a main factor in his choice. The two of them had formed some sort of unlikely friendship over two weeks. Even as he knew of her disappointment of how things had changed, Alexander had become someone she could talk to. Well, talk to about most things. There were still things she would leave for John and John alone. 

Peggy was pulled out of her thoughts when Eliza stood up and began pacing the room. With the intensity at which she was stepping, Peggy was sure she was going to make a hole in the floor in no time. 

Almost as fast as Eliza’s pacing started, she stopped. Their father was walking towards Alexander, expression unchanging. Then, the most incredible thing happened; He shook Alexander’s hand and whispered something in his ear. Without missing a beat, Alexander turned around to face the three girls, a bright smile on his face. Eliza ran over to him and hugged him, burrowing her face into his chest.

Not wanting to interrupt the moment, Peggy moved closer to Angelica, whose face was that of forced happiness. She grabbed her hand and squeezed it, hoping that her sister would be comforted. To her disappointment, Angelica didn’t relax at all. Peggy sighed, but turned back to the celebrating couple just in time for Eliza to turn back to her sisters. 

With blinding speed, Eliza raced forward to hug her sisters, tears of joy slipping onto their dresses. Peggy couldn’t help but cry as well, and she was sure Angelica was crying with them, and they moved their arms so that they were wrapped around Eliza. She was so happy for her sister, and in that moment she knew without a doubt that she wanted Eliza to be this happy with Alexander to the end of her days. 

Alexander came up and hugged the three sisters from behind Eliza, meaning he was mostly hugging her. Peggy saw how he looked at Eliza and realized one thing: She wanted someone to look at her like that. No, she wanted John to look at her like that. The relationship between Peggy Schuyler and John Laurens may be a secret, but it was as real as any other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Don't forget to give kudos and comment.


	3. May You Always Be Satisfied

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We are gathered here for the wedding of Alexander Hamilton and Elizabeth Schuyler. Plus some John Laurens admiring from one Margarita Schuyler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo, orginally this chapter was going to be full of jeggy fluff and angst, but then it turned out to be centered around the Schuyler sisters. Jeggy is still a huge part of it, but this chapter did turn out way different than I imagined. Also, I included Lafayette in this chapter, but I didn't know exactly how to write him, so if you get annoying with how I did do it, sorry. With that in mind, enjoy the chapter!

Although Peggy wasn't the bride, she was incredibly nervous for this wedding.Peggy carefully placed the veil on Eliza's head, smoothing out her hair while doing so. Meanwhile, Angelica held her hands, reassuring the soon to be bride, who was understandably stressed. All three girls were overjoyed for this day, though Peggy was excited for more than one reason.

One: Eliza would be able to be with Alexander, someone who she loved deeply. The guy promised to take good care of her, and everyone hoped he would. Plus, with Alexander she would get to live out her dream of being a mother. Eliza would be getting exactly what she wanted in life. That in itself was an incredible gift.

Two: Alexander would get to join the Schuyler family. Or, as Peggy put it, the Schuyler Sibling Clan. True, he wouldn't be a Schuyler by name, but he would be she and Angelica's brother. They didn't have any brothers, so that would be an entirely new experience. Peggy had been the last addition to their closely knit trio, but with Alex, they surely would become a wonderful quartet.

Three: Today was the day she would finally get to see her John Laurens once again. They had been writing letters to each other secretly. In the few weeks the two knew each other, they had fallen hopelessly in love. Peggy couldn't wait to see him again, couldn't wait to celebrate with him. It made her feel awful, but she couldn't help but be thinking of John and how happy he would be seeing his best friend be married. It wasn't as if she was so incredibly in love he was all she thought about, it was just that she had read his letters.

Peggy and John had been sending letters to one another constantly. They had learned so much in the small time they knew each other that it was as if they had spent years together. Peggy hoped they would get to spend the rest of their days with each other. She didn't care that war was their reality now, just that they would push through it. The young couple would win despite everything

As she would daydream of her love, Peggy wouldn't notice her sisters adding the finishing touches to Eliza's perfect look, or their eventual poking and prodding as she would stand there. Maybe she did think about him more than the usual person. Finally, Angelica spoke up loud enough to break the younger Schuyler Sister out of her mind, "Peggy!"

"What?" Peggy asked, a bit annoyed that she had been interrupted. It was only when she got a good look at Eliza, with her white wedding dress and fancily done hair, that she was fully brought back to reality. "Oh," she said softly, feeling tears begin to pool in her eyes. This was her big sister, fully decked out in her wedding attire, getting married before Angelica (who they had bet would get married first) or Peggy herself who was head over heels for a soldier going to war. This day was an incredible one.

Eliza reached towards Peggy and wiped a tear from her cheek. "Oh, Peggy! I'm getting married today!" She squealed, a joyful glow to her. "I can't believe it!" Peggy smiled at her sister as she was practically bouncing. Alexander had been good for Eliza's happiness. Peggy was sure she had never seen Eliza so happy in her entire life.

An arm rested on Peggy's shoulders, and an identical one wapped around Eliza. Angelica hugged the sisters so very tightly, as if she was willing them to stay with her. However, it was too late for that. Peggy knew that as close as they were, marriage would move them away from each other.

"It's time." Angelica whispered, grip loosening. Eliza offered swift hugs to her sisters before racing out of the room, no doubt eager to be married. Peggy grabbed Angelica's hand before the older sister could leave.

"I'm still here, Angie." Peggy took her sister's other hand, hoping to be a comfort. "You are not alone." Angelica didn't say anything, only pulled her close for a hug.

The moment felt too short for both sisters, as they had to pull apart quickly. Both sisters realized something important. "WE'RE SUPPOSED TO WALK OUT BEFORE ELIZA!" Peggy rushed out of the room, Angelica following her. They hoped the middle sister didn't run far, or at least hoped she would be found by their father. It wouldn't exactly go across well to the rich folk attending the wedding for the bride to run in before the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

Peggy's mind was so focused on finding Eliza that she didn't notice the man briskly walking down the hall. She slammed into him, but instead of both of them falling to the ground, she simply fell, only making him step back from the impact. "I'm so sorry!" Peggy apologised, heart racing.

"It's quite alright, miss!" The man said, sporting a french accent, then added, "Really it is I who should be apologising, I wasn't looking where I was going." Peggy clumsily stood up, scanning the man who she made a complete embarrassment of herself in front of. He looked different than most people she knew, not that it was a bad thing.

It then hit Peggy who she had run into. "You must be Lafayette!" She exclaimed, already feeling her cheeks heat up. Why did she have to be such a mess when it comes to interactions?

Lafayette-If that was who he was-laughed softly at the young schuyler sister, understanding her skills in the social department; Better put, the lack of social skills. "Why yes, I am. It's a pleasure to meet you Miss..."

"Schuyler," Peggy had (almost) no cares on whether Lafayette only saw the Schuyler name. She had everything she wanted in her sisters and John. "Margarita Schuyler. Call me Peggy."

"It's a pleasure," Lafayette says as he kisses her hand. "I do believe you are the woman I have the privilege of walking down the aisle?" Right. Peggy wasn't the maid of honor so she would be walked down the aisle by one of Alexander's Groomsmen. Logically, that would fall to Lafayette. Hercules Mulligan was the 'flower boy' and John was the best man.

Peggy held out her hand, and Lafayette kissed it. "I suppose so." Before something else could be said, Angelica butt in.

"As sweet as this is, I think it would be in all of our best interests to not be late to the wedding." Lafayette nodded and pulled Peggy along, grip way too tight for a normal person.

Peggy was pulled down the corridor, dread slowly growing as they came closer to the chapel. That dread came to its peak when they finally arrived. This was the moment Peggy had been waiting for since she had left that ball which seemed so very long ago.

John was standing in front of the three, and Peggy couldn't relax in the slightest. His presence was both calming and stressful from the secret the couple shared. "Are you three ready?" He asked, and oh how Peggy's heart fluttered at his voice. Lafayette and Angelica, who both clearly didn't like John the same way Peggy did, said yes. She was sure that if she spoke, Peggy would embarrass herself, so she only nodded.

As John took Angelica's arm, Peggy would swear he had sent her e longing look, but she decided it was probably a figment of her imagination. She watched as maid of honor and best man walked down the aisle and wished intensely that she was in Angelica's spot. Lafayette gently tugged on Peggy's arm, pulling her down the aisle with him. She hoped she looked natural, but honestly, she had no idea. Once they got to the end, she moved to stand by Angelica, stealing a glance at her John.

John looked as amazing as ever, with his curly hair, and freckled face. Peggy wished she could hug him, or kiss him, or something. She just wanted to be able to talk to him for one minute. He wasn't even looking at her, though. Deep down, Peggy supposed, she understood why he wasn't looking at her, but even wanting to keep their undeniable attraction to one another a secret wouldn't deter her from admiring him. (What? He looked good.)

Out of the corner of Peggy's eye, Angelica tensed. Alexander was here. In a way she hoped was discreet, Peggy grabbed Angelica's hand. Sure, this moment would probably be one of the worst for Angelica, but any bit of comfort was still comfort that was needed.

Alexander stood by John, looking down the aisle for his bride. He seemed to be in awe as Eliza walked down, led by her father. She was gorgeous, her black hair pulled back in a braid and the veil so perfectly placed on her head. Alexander looked at Eliza with such fascination and love that Peggy knew he was absolutely helpless for her. One day, Peggy knew, John would be looked at her like that. It was only a matter of time.

The wedding was absolutely beautiful, both Angelica and Peggy were crying. Sure, when Eliza and Alex kissed Angelica almost broke down, but Peggy was here. She would be there for her older sister was she was called, and she knew that John, being the kind of person he was, would support the both of them. (Actually, maybe she could learn a thing or two about comforting people from John.)

There were so many people here for these two, so many people who cared about Alex and Eliza and the love they shared. Family friends, just friends of the bride and the groom, and, of course, the family themselves. You could practically feel the love each and every person had for the couple. It made Peggy wonder; Would people care this much about her when she inevitably got married? Would she and John's love be allowed by her father? Would they be given the chance to be married? Part of Peggy wanted to believe that the answer to all of those questions was yes, but she truly had no idea.

Before Peggy could even blink, the reception had already started and people were mingling. Her first thought of was of John; Where was he? Then she fully realized the fact that Angelica was going to need her. Love was important, sure, but when your sister is struggling, you have to be there for her. Angelica held Peggy's hand tightly as they both stood to the side of the room. Waiting for something. Peggy was confused, didn't Angelica need to give her speech?

"Alright, alright!" John starting yelling across the room. His voice was as beautiful, as sweet, as she could remember. "That's what i'm talking about!" Angelica pulled her hand out of Peggy's and starting walking after John. Peggy followed close behind. "Now, everyone, give it up, for the maid of honor: Angelica Schuyler!" Cheers followed his words, and the two sisters stood in front of the room.

As Angelica began her speech, John walked behind them, and Peggy was aware of his every move. The whole room was quiet, and although it was meant for Angelica so she could be heard, it only helped Peggy's ability to hear John. He walked up behind the two sisters, and stood close. Not close as in about a foot away, but close enough his hand brushed against her own. Close enough to give her comfort, but far enough away to just seem like he was bad at giving people personal space. It was a genius move, one that solidified in Peggy's mind the fact that John was someone who had a subtle genius.

"To the groom!" Everyone in the room repeated after Angelica, chant loud and clear. "To the bride!" Peggy saw Alexander pull Eliza closer, smiles beaming from both their faces. "From your sister," Angelica tightly hugged Peggy, pulled her away from John. His hand brushing up against her own was automatically noticed in her mind. The space by her hand felt empty. "Who is always by your side!" Angelica and Eliza were truly an unbreakable duo, Peggy thought. She smiled, knowing that she would always be there for them, even if it was in a more subtle way. "To your union!"

"To the union, to the revolution!" The crowd shouted back, causing both Peggy and John to grin wider. This country, this revolution, was brought together because of the relationships these people had. Alexander and Eliza were proof of the amazing things this country would bring. Their future children would be proof. They were the hope of this revolution.

Angelica reaffirmed Peggy's thoughts. "And the hope that you provide!" Tears started to flow down Angelica's cheeks, but she was undeterred. "May you always," her voice hitched, clearly fighting to not break down in front of all of these people. "Be satisfied!" The whole room clapped before resuming their chatter and congratulations to the newly married couple.

John would flip around, would ask Peggy to dance. Angelica would nod her head, just to be led away by some other man. Peggy and John would dance the night away, enveloped in each others arms. This would mark the first time he would say he loved her. Both wanted this moment to never end. They wanted a life together, with no war, just to be safe in each others arms. Love could defeat anything, couldn't it? Even if that thing happened to be King George.

They just had to wait for it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took forever, and i'm sorry, and I have no idea how long it'll take for chapter four. I apologize for the wait, but we all need to learn more patience, don't we? The burden of a fanfiction reader is great one indeed. Anyway, next chapter is going to be about John Laurens in the war, and will be from his point of view! There will most likely be parts with Alex, Charles Lee, Aaron Burr, Lafayette, and George Washington, but I can't promise anything because every time I write a chapter it changes a lot from how I thought it would. 
> 
> Anyway, completely unrelated, i've been thinking about writing a watching hamilton fanfiction, just with some jeggy and thomgelica in it as well. If you guys want to see it, go ahead and tell me, but if I want to do it i'll do it anyway. 
> 
> Thank you for reading this chapter of Let Me Be a Part of the Narrative! Don't forget to give kudos and comment!


	4. Every Days a Test of Our Camaraderie and Bravery

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John Laurens loved Peggy Schuyler, he'd do anything for her, and he'd never forgive himself for putting himself on the line more than he was already.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone! This might be the fastest update i've ever done. I hope you enjoy this chapter, especially because i'm already emotional from what the next chapter is going to be like. Enjoy!

For the first time during this revolution, John wanted more than anything to go home. It wasn’t that it was dangerous and he genuinely feared for his life, though that certainly was a part of it, most of it was the fact that he missed Peggy. 

Peggy, who wore dresses with bright colors so that she would be seen. Peggy, who had negative thoughts running through her brain from the years of people forgetting her for her sisters. Peggy, who broke down as soon as someone showed just a little bit of true interest in her. Peggy, who devoted so much of her time to her sister’s happiness. Peggy, who was the youngest Schuyler sister and way out of John’s league. Of course, John had fallen in love with her. 

It was corny, but every night he would think of her, and every time he fought John would fight harder knowing that he was fighting for her freedom. He would fight a million battles as long as Peggy was safe. 

John wrote to Peggy every chance he got. Well, as long as no one was present to see him writing. Every letter he got from her seemed to shift his world, and gave him new meaning to fight the war. This was one of those times. He poured himself into his letters for Peggy, hoping to tell her something new about himself every time. After all, he had learned so much from her. 

Peggy and John confided everything in each other. She had told him of her negative feelings surrounding herself, of her complicated emotions about Alexander, and had expressed everything about the situation with Angelica. John didn't want to intrude on anything between sisters, but he supported Peggy. He would always support her, and she supported him. When he had expressed his feelings about slavery, when he told her of the constant frustration Alex brought to his life, and the trauma he had already gained from this revolution. Really, it was sickening that King George desired this new world so much he would torment and look down upon those who live in it. 

Reading the letter he had just been sent from his dearest Peggy, John wondered how he got through his life without her at his side. It was strange for someone with such high status to agree with him on the blatent fact that slavery was wrong. Most would politely disagree, maybe yell if you're unlucky, and at rare times turn to violence, but not Peggy. She agreed, and said that she was friends with some of the family slaves! Someone in the Schuyler family believed slavery was wrong! John wondered if Angelica and Eliza would agree. He hoped they did, especially because Alexander agreed and Eliza would surely suffer if she thought slavery was a good thing.

As John prepared to begin writing yet another letter to Peggy, Alexander burst into the tent. His dark hair was in an extremely messy ponytail, there were bags dark as bruises under his eyes and a huge dark spot of ink decorated his shirt. Clearly he'd gone into one of his non-stop sessions of writing. Washington must’ve sent him back. 

Alexander collapsed on his cot, not bothering to take off his stained and probably incredibly smelly clothes. 

“Alex-” John started, before being interrupted by the man himself. 

“Laurens, you will not believe what Washington just did.” Alexander’s voice was muffled, but John could still hear him. John would guess all Washington did was tell Alex it was time to head to bed, especially since John was barely able to read and write in the candlelight, and both Lafayette and Hercules were asleep already, but it was always important to humor Alexander. 

John silently began to put away his writing things, but still talked to Alexander. “What did he do?” 

“He promoted Charles Lee to general!” John froze, head refusing to process the words correctly. Charles Lee wasn’t exactly somehow who screamed ‘general material’. There wasn’t any good reason for him to become a general. Why would Washington choose him of all people? 

John had to clarify. “Wh-” A pillow shot out and hit him in the face. “Gah!”

“Can you two shut up?” The voice came from the cot next to Alex. “I'm trying to sleep!” John rolled his eyes and there the pillow back towards him. Alex groaned, but from the creaking of the bed one could assume he had laid down. 

Carefully, John pulled a box out from under his cot. This box held all of the letters Peggy had sent, each letter placed in as if they were the most valuable thing in the world. With extreme care, he placed the most recent one in. One day he would place this box in a special place In his future home, and Peggy would place those from him in an identical box. They would be able to share their love for one another without writing letters. If you'd asked John just a few months ago, his ideal future would be living in a free country. While that was still true, now he wanted a future with Peggy, and he'd do anything to get it. 

With that thought in mind, John put the box down and blew out the candle. He slept that night with Peggy in his mind. 

\------

John knew he made some unwise decisions when he was angry, but this one was by far the worst. When Charles Lee had showed he wasn’t fit to be a general, John was mad, but it was Lee talking so horribly about the general that had brought the anger to boiling level. It had been rash to challenge him to a duel, it had been rash to take Alexander’s place, and John regretted it. 

As Alexander talked with Burr, trying to find common ground, John fiddled with the trigger on his gun. He knew that the two people he was depending on could never agree, and he knew that he had to shoot. There was no saying what Lee would do, but there was no way John would let himself die here. 

There was no way John would leave Peggy because of a duel. 

Lee looked at John, and the two made eye contact. They hated each other, but nether really wanted to do this. As quickly as it was made, the eye contact broke, leaving an awkward air. 

Alex stormed towards John, anger directed back at Burr and Lee. John's heart dropped and panic sunk in. He and Lee were going to have the chance to shoot each other. They could both live, someone could get wounded, or someone could die. 

John could die at the hands of one of Washington's generals. He could leave Alex, Lafayette, and Mulligan. Worse, he could leave Peggy, heartbroken and too loyal to tell of their love without him. As much as he wanted to deny it, say that he was fearless, this was terrifying. The panic was deep in his bones and more than ever he just wanted to run-

No. 

There were many things John was, but he was someone who would defend his honor to the end. Dimly, he was aware of counting. 

“One,”

What was this feeling of something in his throat?

“Two,” 

Alex's presence was usually a comfort, but now John could help but think Alex was the author of this potential death. 

“Three,”

Burr was across the field, wasn't he? Did he want to see John die, or was he just stuck in the position of protecting Lee? John dearly hoped it was the latter. Aaron Burr wasn't that terrible a person.

“Four,” 

Charles Lee was prepared to shoot John, and wasn't that so strange to think. Sure they had a while army trying to kill them, but this was someone fighting for freedom. This was a personal affair, and that made it all the more terrible. 

“Five,”

John thought of the slaves who would stay in captivity if he didn't live through this. When would someone else who so believed slavery was wrong that they were willing to fight like he did. Would their freedom be granted with that of America's?

“Six,”

Sweat trickled down John’s neck. His palms were so sweaty he felt he would drop the gun grasped so tightly. 

“Seven,”

Those bullets far away in Lee’s gun could strike him with unyielding mercilessness. John could feel the approaching in his mind.

“Eight,”

Life or death, wound or surrender, this was in his hands. He had to make his choice, why couldn't he make the choice why couldn't he make the dang choice-

“Nine,”

Peggy’s warm smile flashed in John's mind. Her arms around him, the way her brown eyes looked at his with such intense love, the way she thought so well of her sisters…He adored it all. Was he really going to throw away his shot at a chance to love her because of Charles Lee? No. He was going to live for her. 

“Number 10 pages fire!”

John flipped around in the blink of an eye, thought of Peggy, and let his shot ring true. 

Charles Lee fell to the ground, Burr running to help him. Alex and Burr exchanged some conversation, but everything was a blur.

“I'm satisfied,” John choked out. This was all fine. He had to live, he had to. Too many people were counting on him. Too many people would suffer if John died. 

John Laurens would stay alive for Peggy Schuyler.


	5. I May Not Live to See Our Glory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John Laurens was shot on Tuesday the 27th in South Carolina. These are his thoughts on the matter.

John remembered that day, when he had met the girl if his dreams. He didn't believe in love at first sight, but from the moment he has seen her, he knew he just had to talk to her. She had been with her sisters, talking about the revolution, about how lucky they were to be alive. Even with the beauty, the spirit, the wit her sisters showed, John had eyes for only one of them. 

Of course, it took four years for him to see her again. 

That day, John had no idea his life would change. Alexander had successfully wooed Eliza Schuyler, the girl staring with absolute love. He had noticed how the two eldest sisters danced around the room, one looking for love, the other scouting the area. When the youngest wasn't seen, the alarms in his head started blaring. He was worried about a girl he hasn't talked to ever, and hadn't seen in four years. 

After searching the room oh so unsuspiciously, meaning Mulligan and Lafayette had repeatedly asked him what he was looking for, John found her crying by a wall. Well, she had tears on her eyes. He had approached her, and she immediantly put up walls as to keep her emotions a secret. Probably feels the Schuyler name would be tainted by her emotions, John had thought. 

They had just stood there, he had entertained a conversation, was surprised by her immediate words to call her Peggy. When she broke down into a panic, barely breathing, John cursed the world for hurting such an amazing woman. That day may have been the first they had together, but they were immediantly and undeniably in love. 

John Laurens was incredibly in love with Peggy Schuyler. 

Over the course of the weeks until the wedding between Alexander and Eliza, Peggy and John had written letters, shared their secrets with each other, fell more and more in love. They were the happiest weeks of his life. Then he had to go back to war, and everything shifted. He just wanted to go back home, where he was safe. Where he could be normal for one second. 

Most of all, John wanted to hold Peggy in his arms. He wanted to card his hands through her hair, talk to her about anything and everything. She would press close to him, speak her mind. Show that wisdom online she had. One day that would have beautiful children who would fight for their rights and what they believed in. He had dreamed of the day he would ask her father's permission to marry her, then he'd propose. He'd never be able to do that now. 

Tears raced down John's cheeks, mingling with the blood dripping out of his mouth. He squeezed the area where the bullet entered. Pain erupted in his side, and he pulled his hand away. Blood stained it, red and unforgiving. 

Suddenly, the sky was much father away, and he was laying on the ground. His head was pounding, but he couldn't bring himself to move, to scream out, anything. Stars filled his vision, whether it is a hallucination or truly a part of the sky unknown to the man. 

John began to cough, his throat was feeling more and more full. Alexander's words echoed in his mind.

“I may not love to see our Glory, but I will gladly join the fight!”

The night was so long ago. John wanted to tell his past self, “Death isn't worth it!” or “You should enjoy the time you have with your friends.” If he could, he would rewind the clock, enjoy life, figure out some way to live. 

The night sky was so beautiful… If only the blur would stop...

Wait. 

Why was John's vision getting increasingly more blurry? Why couldn't he stop coughing? The sky was gone and his friends were gone and why couldn't he be given his happy ending why did this world have to take and take and take-

“John, you are the light in my life.”

Peggy?

“I know you don't want to leave me alone, but I also know you will forever feel guilty if you don't fight in the war.”

She knew him so well…

“I will support you in this, my star.”

His dear Peggy, his sunshine, she would be left without him. She didn't deserve to be left without the man she loved, he couldn't let…

John was laying in a pile of his own blood, his vision so blurry the stars we're just highlights in the sky. There was no way to live through this one, he knew that. He just…

The pain began to leave John, untill he was numb entirely. Was this a sign? Images of Peggy laughing, dancing, just living happily filled his mind. She would marry some wealthy man one day, he would take care of her, and they would have beautiful children. One day, she would be happy again. That was what he was fighting for. 

With his last breath, John Laurens whispered a final proclamation and closed his eyes. 

“I love you.”


	6. There Are Moment Where the Words Don't Reach

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy hasn't been getting letters from John, and today she learns why that is.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one hurt to write. On a happier note, the first chapter of that Hamilton Watches Hamilton fanfiction was uploaded! The ships are Hamliza and Jeggy, so if you want more Jeggy, you can head over there. Anyway, this chapter was very...fun to write.

“Margarita, when will you find yourself a husband?” Phillip Schuyler glared at his youngest daughter, who only just managed to stay looking neutral. “Your older sisters have already married happily, and Eliza even has a child. You have lived far too long in my home.” 

Peggy clenched her fists under the c table, though it was unladylike. She already had someone who would marry her, they were only waiting until the war was done. Of course, she couldn't just announce that. She was loyal to what John wished. “The time simply isn't right father.” Still, it had been so long since the last letter… “I assure you I will find the love you wish for me.” Her heart clenched.   
John hadn't sent her a letter in many weeks. It has been so long Peggy feared he lost interest in her. 

Phillip banged a fist on the table. “That is not good enough! You are plenty old enough to marry! You-” Catherine Schuyler placed her hand on her husband's. 

“Darling, maybe you should wait to have this conversation. It is getting late. You know Margarita has some letters to reply to.” Peggy nods, hoping her father would listen. It wasn't like she enjoyed replying to those seeking her hand, but it served as a way to hide her letters to John. 

Resigned, the Schuyler father sighed. “Fine, but you must be writing to your admirers, Margarita. No more of whatever it is you do besides that.” Peggy usually was reading John's letters in secret, but no one needed to know that. Silently, she nodded and left to her room. 

Usually, Peggy's room would be somewhat neat, her desk being the messiest area, but it was currently neat as Eliza's empty one. Her father must've asked some of the poor slaves to clean it up. Honestly, it was her mess to clean up, not any of theirs. The sun lit up the room happily, like a promise that everything would be alright.

On the desk was a pile of letters. Searching through them diligently, Peggy found that none of them were from the only man she truly wanted to hear from, John Laurens. The disappointment she had become used to only grew. “What happened to you, John?” She whispered to the air. The only response was a breeze flowing in through the window. “I miss you.” 

“Miss. Schuyler?” Asked a timid voice behind Peggy. She turned to see one of the maids, Adelaide maybe, holding a letter in her small hands. “You have a letter.” 

Greedily, Peggy snatched it from her hands. “You may go.” The maid left, closing the door behind her. The letter was gold in Peggy's mind, as she was sure it was from her lovely John. Her star. Except, as she flipped it to read the name… “Henry Laurens?”

Henry Laurens was John's father, someone who shouldn't know about Peggy. Although it felt like jumping to a conclusion, her blood ran cold. Would John's father be sending a letter to say he disapproved? Or worse, that the war became too great a battle…

No. Peggy refused to think those thoughts unless she was explicitly stated or shown. With shaking hands, she unfolded the letter. 

Margarita Schuyler, 

I have no recollection of hearing your name in my home, nor do I recall my son ever sending letters about you, but you have been listed as one of The people to hear news when it comes. 

On Tuesday the 27th my son perished in a gunfight in South Carolina. These troops had not received notice that the war had ended. He is buried there currently, as I have not sent for his remains. 

As you may know, my son was engaged in recruiting three thousand men for the first all black military regiment. The surviving members of this regiment have been returned to their masters. 

Miss. Schuyler, though my son had not told me of how you two know each other, he instructed me to send you the enclosed letter. You are the only person other than his immediate family he has done so for. My son cared deeply for you, and I hope you feel the same towards him.

Henry Laurens

The world seemed to stop, all noise and light and warmth leaving. Peggy's hearted stopped, and she couldn't breathe. 

This couldn't be happening. 

John couldn't…

John couldn't be…

Peggy wouldn't believe it. Sure the letters stopped being sent, but that didn't have to mean he was gone! She searched the letter Henry sent for some sort of joke. A sign that this was all part of keeping their relationship a secret, but she found nothing. 

This house was too hot, too stuffy, too small. Before Peggy knew what was happening, her shirt as firmly clutched in her hands and she was running. Running away from those letters, from that place, somewhere she could be in peace. 

The sun continued to shine when she burst outside, but it wasn't happy, nor a promise. Peggy ran through the garden, searching for some shade to hide in. This place was too beautiful, too happy. Nothing should be happy or beautiful, it should be grey and dead and gone. 

Despite Peggy's thoughts, everything was as beautiful as ever, but it was empty. The way the light filtered through the leaves of trees, which she had found mezmerizing were like tiny spotlights showing her every fault. The flowers were all just that, never be to be seen as something to give to those you love. 

Wet tears flowed down Peggy's cheeks, and she sat under a tree. The ground was wet and muddy from fresh rain, and so cit stuck to her dress. A dress which John would never get to see. The sunliggt occasionally hit it, causing the otherwise green casual wear to turn a more yellow color. Turned yellow by the same sunshine John called her, Peggy thought bitterly. 

In her hand, Peggy held the final letter John had sent her, from the letter his father had so graciously sent. She didn't want to read it, for she knew that John being...gone would become a reality. Despite this, Peggy was desperate to read his words once more, to imagine his voice again. Hands saking, she unfolded the letter.

My Dearest, Peggy, 

This letter shall reach you if my time on Earth has ended and I have departed to wherever death shall take me. 

First and foremost, I would like to apologise for the anguish I will be causing you. You, dearest Peggy, deserve someone who you should be able to put trust in that he will not put himself on the line in war. I wish I could give you that man. 

Every day, I fight for you and your freedom, my sunshine. With my death you will be closer to freedom. Fight for your rights and for those you love, dearest. Your mind is as sharp as the knives we use and you are as feirce as a lion. 

From the moment I first layed eyes on you my heart skipped a beat and I found myself utterly helpless. Your light, my sunshine, has brought pure sunshine to my life. I know with my passing, you will be heartbroken, but I beg you find another who will help you on your path to build this nation, and I beg you find a man who you truly love.   
Be strong, my sunshine. 

Forever yours, John. 

Tears again flowed down Peggy's cheeks. Why couldn't she and John just have a life where they could be together? Why couldn't she get the man she loved, who loved her back? It was almost comically sad when clouds starting rolling in promising rain. 

Peggy reread each sentence of the letter. Why would John tell her to look for new love? She didn't know if she wanted to even look for that when she couldn't have him.

Even so, John Laurens died for Peggy’s freedom, she knew this well. There was no possible way she could let him die in vain. 

That day in the garden, Peggy made a promise to herself. She would find new love, build this nation, make lives better, all for John. He gave her the possibility of a free life, and Peggy would not throw away her shot.


	7. I Can't Wait to See You Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peggy Schuyler Can Rensselaer has been I'll for quite some time. This is the height of that.

Laying on that bed, unsatisfied and dying, Peggy reflected on all that had happened since she got that letter saying her John had left this world. She had followed what he said, about finding new love. 

There was one lowly day when she had been reading all the letters from the people who wanted the last chance at the Schuyler name, each one repeating the same false praises. None of them could compare to her John. She had been skimming each letter, finding nothing remotely interesting, until a particular name caught her eye; Stephan Van Rensselaer. 

Peggy knew him well, as he was her cousin on her mother's side. Although she hated the idea of making someone other than John, Stephan was a good man with riches who she genuinely liked. Sure, he wasnt someone who would actually ask for her opinion or respect her as someone who could make a difference in the world, but he wasn't condescending, and he listened to her. 

So, every day Peggy would write a letter to Stephan. However her heart wasn't totally into it, every word making her ache for John. When she announced to her parents of Stephan courting her, they immediantly invited him to the house, hoping she would be married off quick. Their attitude hurt, but Peggy was fine. 

It hurt when her parents said they had been waiting for years for Peggy to find someone, but it was fine.

It hurt when Stephan announced to her parents that he was her first true love, but it was fine. 

It hurt when Peggy and Catherine were directed out of the room so that the men could talk, but it was fine. 

It hurt when Peggy heard for father say that Angelica and Eliza were so much more promising as woman and that this was brave door Stephan to suffer through, but it was fine. 

It hurt when Stephan said that he would prefer Angelica, but someone had to make the sacrifice and he would be the person to suffer through it willingly, but it was fine. 

Most of all, it hurt when Stephan proposed to Peggy and she had to take happiness that she should be feeling, but it was fine.

It was all fine. Stephan would provide her with the riches needed to make a difference and she'd make John proud. At any cost she would shape this nation into something beautiful. For John Laurens. 

The first day Stephan got physical with the ways he hurt her, Peggy dreamt of John. He told her that it wasn't worth it to stay with Stephan if he would hurt her. John said her safety was most important and that's what he fought for above all. 

Stephan said not to trust what your dreams said. 

“Peggy!” Alexander's voice broke through her thoughts. His hand way on the small of her back and she was hunched over now. It took a moment for Peggy to realize she was violently coughing. Her condition had gotten terrible over this Winter, and no matter what her children said, she knew death was knocking down her door. It was lucky her practical brother was here to send her off. “Are you okay?”

Once Peggy stopped her coughing fit she smiled at Alexander feebly. He slowly helped get to lay down again, clutching her hand like a lifeline. “Well, other than the fact I could die any moment, I'm doing pretty alright.” Usually her morbid holes could get a laugh out of Alexander, but being on you deathbed really made everything more serious. 

The only thing in place of her joke was silence. Alexander grasping her hand as if him letting her go would cause her death. 

Peggy remembered the day she read The Reynolds Pamphlet clear. She had been so angry that Alexander would cheat on such an amazing woman who only wanted the best for the world. In that moment she had wanted to match to the Hamilton residence and scream at her brother. How could he take Eliza for granted like that? How could he do those things with a woman who wasnt his wife? How could he push Eliza to the side when Peggy hadn't even gotten a chance to be with who she loved? 

In her anger, Peggy had gathered a bag of essentials, put on clothes she could travel and in prepared to go straight to her sisters home, any means necessary. Stephan had stopped her, saying that “It was fine.”, “A good woman shouldn't tell at a man.”,”Wouldn't you rather stay here with me?”. He looked so sad and heartbroken, and so she stayed. She was here to make him happy, wasnt she?

All of the time spent with Stephan and he refused to be here as she layed down to die…

Peggy rubbed Alexander's hand with her thing, needed reassurance that someone cared. Her head was light, so much so that it couldn't be normal. Her body felt light, lighter than normal. Trying to ground herself, Peggy held a fistful of her pale yellow shirt in her palm. Nothing changed. 

Why was everything so bright and blurry.

Tears raced down the youngest Schuyler’s face, not hearing Alexander's pleas to stay with him. Something warm, like a hand caressed her cheek. She just wanted to be with John again. 

The world went white, Peggy's last thought being of her John Laurens. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's a wrap, folks! I hope you enjoyed let me be a Part of the Narrative as much as I enjoyed writing it! It is my first Hamilton fanfiction, so I hope I did the characters justice. If you want more of my writing, a Hamilton watches Hamilton Fanfiction has been posted on my profile. I'm sure what most of you are wanting is the sequel, though. I will be posting the first chapter of the sequel to this book in two weeks. For an update on when that comes out, following this series, 'History Has it's Eyes on Us', will allow you to get updates on new stories getting posted on the series and new chapters being posted. Thank you for reading!

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Make sure to kudos and comment.


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